mike-twiggy-tweak

My name is Michael Cieremans. I was born March 19,1992. I was born into a family named DeGraw. Well at least I think thats how you spell it. I was born at 10:48am with many infractions in my life. I was born autistic, born a crack and drug baby, and I had fetal alcohol syndrome. I was brought home by my parents Mike and Melinda DeGraw. They were mentally retarded due to the alcohol and the abuse of drugs and did not know how to take care of me properly. I was somehow alive for 9 months only by the grace of God. I ate and drank from the floor, and my eating habits I don't know what they were. I was not nurtured or loved barely held since birth, I didn't know what affection or love was or how to receive it. My bedroom was where all the trash was it never was taken out, it was so high it was over the crib. The trash weighed more than I did. I was lucky that none fell. Something miraculous happened. My sister was Born.
My sister was born May 20,1993 she saved my life.
The reason is not how or why but what I did to survive. My sister was a fussy baby same problems as me but more serious. I used her fussiness to my advantage. She would cry so much they would just give her a bottle. They didn’t hold us or anything so she never got the right love either. They never changed us or bathed us but only like maybe 3 times if that. My sisters fits lead to bottles constantly where I was able to just take them without her having issues. She wasn’t hungry she would toss the bottle aside i would grab it and start drinking it. This was how I survived. We were later put into adoption through CPS (Child Protective Services) I don’t know how but we were.
Me and my sister were a package deal. You want one you get both seems legit, not to split up siblings. We were in foster care for a few weeks until we were placed into a foster family named the Cieremans. My mom well adopted mom but i call her mom Pam was sterile and couldn’t have kids. We were given to her until a permanent home was placed for us. But my mom Pam with my dad Jerry loved us and chose to adopt us. They were loving and gentle with us but when we got to them it was far from good. I was a autistic headbanger and running into things head down and full sprint into brick walls, ovens, doors and anything else you could think of. My mom said I was in the worst shape she ever received a kid. She told me she didn’t know if I was white or black. She gave me 3 baths because the water was pitch black each time. My mom told me she could take whatever hair I had on my head bend it and it would break off, that’s how malnourished I was. I wasn’t used to love so it took time for me to get used to being held I was always protecting my sister and doing stuff for her at the age of 2, granted I can’t do much but i did my best. I would growl at people and very violent when the new family came around around.
When family came around it was somewhat different. When I posted a thing on facebook on how did we meet my cousin wrote something that sort of made me sad. Me and my cousin Lisa are like best of friends and cousins but she said when I came home to the Cieremans’ that she was scared of me she was like 5 i was 2 and I scared her. I later went to a psychiatric hospital where I was evaluated by the top 3 physicians to see if I would be a mess my whole life or if i had somewhat a chance to a normal life. Each of them told my mom “ Pam there is no hope for your son”. My mom prayed for me she had family praying for me. At this time I didn’t feel pain probably because I was punched off a deck at 22 months but so far that's controversy. But my mom never gave up on me. I later learned to feel pain from my mom scrubbing me with a bathtub scrubbing brush took months of scrubbing just to feel a bit of pain. Now I stub my toe i'm cursing all kinds of things that crap hurts, that I wish stayed. Well later while I was two we adopted a girl named Angel. Me and her were 13 months apart and we all got along. We all loved each other and our parents loved us.
My family grew to love me and I grew to love them after the rage and unkempt nature I was in I came out pretty decent. My dad taught me video games which back then was a super nintendo. But I got hand and eye coordination. I also started to play sports outside, ride bikes, and even run straight head high and not try to harm myself because I now knew what it was like to feel pain. My mom and dad were christians and brought me up into that lifestyle. I later ask Jesus into my heart at the age of 3 granted it wasn’t like I knew what I was doing but it was an aww moment until I thought to become mr theologian at 3 and my mom and dad couldn’t answer my questions that normal theologians get asked. Not the do dogs go to heaven stuff but the tough stuff like If Jesus died for sin why was he still harsh on the sinner knowing he was going to die for their sins, those questions. My family helped out with me becoming a christian.
When my mom and dad brought me in to their lives we lived in a trailor well by my 5th birthday we moved into a house on 949 Colrain SW, Wyoming, MI 49509.
I had a ok time growing up with this family. Every families not perfect but we managed. Well in late autumn when I was 7 my mom and dad divorced. I was heartbroken, which kid isn’t. I missed throwing a football around and playing video games I was sad. For 16 years after that never had a true father figure, I’m 23 now. I was crushed no one my mom dated cared about me or my sisters. I felt like I had no father sisters had there girl time with mom and me no one to bond or even do guy stuff with. I never learned anything except run a chainsaw and shoot birds with a slingshot with moms rotten fruit. I did sports cuz I thought itd make my mom happy and proud but I never got played.
Later at the age of 11 was emotionally unstable because of school and thought i was a failure so I planned on suicide had it all mapped out 3 ideas hanging slitting my throat and jumping head first onto the pavement from my second story window. Each attempt either my mom caught me or my sisters did. I literally gave up on everything. I started to rehearse in my mind the story of what my mom told me about being normal and what the psychiatrist and started going with the psychiatrist and that I would never be ok and be normal. At the age of 15 I switched out of Rogers high School and went to Potters House a christian charter school. I played football for fun and a coach for the school saw me and said we need you on our team and you’ll be in all 4 quarters i was happy. Little did I know I didn’t make the team cuz right before got accepted into the school I missed the law about sports and transfers by minutes so I was not grandfathered in. It sucked.
During that spring my mom got married to a guy named Russell Roomsburg. This year at the end of my 15 yrs of living i thought things would be better and actually have a father figure. Things didn’t turn out that way when. After that year finished I was at least 16 schools out and everything in the summer I got job at camp. The camp was called Tall Turf Ministries For Inner City Youth. I loved this job and everyone at this job I got along with. This is where my life started going straight to hell. Family issues arose and things began to take a turn for the worst. I was failing school I was constantly fighting with mom and Russ. Everything was not well.
Later in August of 2008 my grandma died. That took a shot straight to my heart. My grandma was the only friend I truly had. I would visit my grandma after school, baseball practice, or whenever I went for a run. I went to visit her just to say hi and here her words I love you even though I was adopted into the family. My grandma made me feel like her love was genuine. I remember her coming to one baseball game and she loved it. She was very happy that I wanted her there. My grandma was my life and my joy and the reason I worked on my faith as a Christian and help others. My grandma her last words to me were “Mike hi I love you, you're such a sweet boy and I love you” thats what she said before she died.
It was hard watching my grandma die because when we went to see her she was failing in health from her like 5th+ battle with cancer and it killed me. My grandma was my hero anything bad, good, or ugly I would tell her because I knew my secrets were safe with her. I could tell her how I am feeling or how things went at school, or about who I was going to fight because of the bullying and the people talking about raping my sisters. My grandma would tell me wisdom and tell me if it was a good idea or not. But when I told her about the bully trying to touch my sister she said protect your sister but make sure it counts because that record will follow you. My grandma always knew how to lighten my day and just her hugs, her cookies or her words I love you would just be enough for me to want to press on even though I wanted to commit suicide many times.
My sister Angel left back to her birth parents before when all this fighting occurred or did occur. The fighting was a free for all everyone against everyone, everyone teaming up on everyone it was a bloodbath with words and insults. My mom lost her job as a nurse at one place and didn’t know what to do as she was looking for another one. I was the only one working and I threw that in everyones face. now heres where it get tough for me one night I come home from work and we all were locked out I go to the door and tell my mom I need to get to bed so I can make it to work tomorrow.
My mom opens the door lets me in I say nicely hi and leave to go take a shower and go to bed. While my sister Michelle the one who saved me as a baby and Russ my stepdad were locked outside. At this time it was about 9pm and yelling occurred. I was not having it i wrote to letters and threw them out my window say we have neighbors so shut the hell up. Then everyone looks at me then back to the fighting I throw another paper out saying “ someone in this house has a job and would like to keep it and is the only one working so now shut up”. Well at like 10pm the argument is still going on so i wrote a letter to my mom since i already chewed and spit everyone else out in prior arguments.
This letter was the worst letter any son could write to a parent. After writing that letter I ran away. That night i slept in a park for 2-3 hours. I later started to walk in a direction i didn’t even know where i was going but my step dad found me. He dropped me off at a friends house where I slept till about 3:30am got a phone call that mom was in the hospital after reading your letter and we came home to her overdosed body on the floor she’s in the hospital. They said we searched for you for hours then found you dropped you off at your friends then came home to mom with the paper by her and on the floor almost dead. My heart sank, my knees no longer wanted to work I was traumatized I cried but no tears came out.
I went to work the next day and family picked me up and told me i was going to live with them. I was upset because I had a great Job. My life may not been nice but still I had my job and friends and my job. My friend told me if I needed to stay with them until my mom got better I could and they would bring me to work since we worked at the same camp. Nope family took me I was sad. I lost everything a good job all my friends and the only people who knew what I was dealing with. I went to Fennville to live with my aunt and uncle super depressed on the verge of killing myself but God did not allow it. He gave me the endurance even though Satan kept telling me your letter is what killed your mom, your the reason you’re a failure, you're never going to become anything. These lies hit me hard. I cried every night wishing my mom never did that wishing I could take it all back. I was a wreck.
My family got mad at me thinking depression and guilt can go away in a snap and yet it didn’t. I lost a job. I loved my mom, my mom was on a defibrillator, feeding tube, IV and a heart monitor. That image will forever scar me. My aunt and uncle they kept wanting me to do whatever they wanted for work and tried to make me change to happy and joyous like i was never meant to feel guilt or shame, or depression like the issue never happened. I thought suicide or even just leaving to just be by myself. I gave up on life all together. So many memories that were good but alot bad but I dwelt on the good and i felt like i should die or leave this world or just leave to somewhere else where i could start anew.
Later I left my families house and I couldn’t take much more pain and I left to my dads house. Well everything was nice. I later had a job and it was amazing i felt like life was turning around and i was still able to see my mom. My life was finally anew. I saw my sister Angel we connected for a short time and things were going well. Later me and my dad had issues so I left and went to Guiding light mission.
I was homeless for 4 years I became homeless at the age of 18 im 23 now. I met my wife now ex wife while during homelessness. Me and her were doing great. We later had a son and things went downhill from there. Constant fighting and arguments that were pointless. I never thought id be married at 21 but it happened. My ex wife wanted to go a different route than me. I was doing drywall, being a full time parent, and doing College full time. I was stressed. My ex wife just wanted things like computer video games phone priorities different from mine. I wanted a place to call home, a job and a car. We grew apart and now im getting divorced. We had to give up my son at the age of like 8 months because of a argument gone wrong. I slapped my wife because she was trying to cut herself with my son in her arms. I argued with her multiple time give me Isaiah my son or give me the knife your not having both. She faught me tooth and nail and turned the knife on me I put my hand on the blade trying to pry it from her hands but no use she kept cutting my hands. We did this 3 times before i tried grabbing my son each attempt to grab him i hurt cracking and popping so i stopped trying to grab him and went back to getting the knife from her hand. i tried everything until she turned the knife on me almost stabbing Isaiah and i slapped her. She screamed and cried but i got my son out of there.
Isaiah was so scared that he pooped so bad that i used 2 diapers on him. But before that i used a white beater to wrap up my bloody hand. before changing Isaiah and calling my mother inlaw. My mother in law got him i explained everything that happened and she took him for awhile. During that process my mother in law brought him to a check up that we were supposed to bring him to and CPS got involved because they wanted to know why she was watching him. She told him and we had to do a few steps that were court ordered. I said how hard can this be to get our son back and show we are fit parents. Well when only one works on the mandated court issued things to do they want both to do it. I did majority of what i could do couldn’t make my wife do her part.
Court told us we did not complete everything and that we had to do voluntary adoption or get our rights terminated. I loved my son and i wanted to see him and have my rights i chose voluntary adoption. my wife on the other hand fought me tooth and nail to get him back. I kept telling her you should’ve done the things the court said. She didn't like that so much.
Now im getting a divorce and my life is going pretty descent. I am no longer homeless I work for a great company. I now have a wonderful friend and I am so happy to have them in my life. I never thought through the hell i seen and been through that i would get a glimpse of heaven. i never thought in a million years divorce would be in my life. never did i think id go through so much trials and tribulation but i did. The reason i can say all this is because it was by the grace of God i made it. So many times i could’ve just ended it all but i didn’t. God was my stronghold and on my side during all this and i can’t believe the works God is doing in my life now. Nothing is better than feeling hopeful and prideful of the blessings of God once you realize them.
My walk in my faith has made me stronger and came to realize that there is a God because without one i never would’ve made it this far. God is my peace and my strength, my stronghold and my advocate, my peanut butter to my jelly, and nothing i do is short of what God has in store for me. I thank God everyday for the people i can bless and who bless me even though i hate receiving blessings. God has given me new life and new birth with a new mind and a new life. I give God all my glory. My life story is to be a light that God is a miracle worker and is for you never against you.

I hope you all enjoyed my life and any questions email me i will answer them. Id love to hear you thoughts, questions, and your concerns. God bless and have a great day.

Yours truly; Michael Scott Cieremans
p.s. God gave me drawing as a outlet i kind of went into liking it more than a outlet so i give him the glory for my art thats why all the crosses and stuff. hope you enjoy.